I have never been a “big reader.”
What do I mean by that?
Well…I have always been a very good reader. I constantly
tested “above” my grade level in reading comprehension exams.
I enjoy reading when I have a good book (haha… who likes to
read bad books?) What I mean is I like easy reads that suck you me and I don’t
want to put down. And I am kind of picky about which books suck me in.
For a long time I didn’t have time to read. Yes I realize
and I believe that we make time for the things that are the most important to
us. There were just a lot more things that are more important to me… like going
outside, playing sports, hanging out with friends. Mostly things that had to do
with being around people!
I am an extrovert… I like to be around people! That is how I
get my energy. That’s how I have fun. (Lately I wonder if I have been feeling
so tired is cause I am low on energy… cause I need to be around more people?)
Right now “people” is a big challenge for me.
Cause I can’t talk – at least not easily to a lot of people.
I struggle to find the simplest words to express the bare bone basics of what I
want to say.
I am a storyteller. I like to relate and recount and share
experiences. Now that I have the vocabulary of a 3 year old it is really hard for me to tell stories,
participate in conversations, and even ask for something that I want/need.
So maybe this is why I am totally sucked into books right
now. I can’t easily tell my great stories… but I can read some new ones!
I also think that reading is a GREAT procrastination tool!
Oh I would MUCH rather read than work… or do many things on
my “to do” list, such as write those emails, or make those phone calls, etc. But because I am reading I feel like I am
being productive! “Wow! Look at how much I have accomplished! I just read 5
chapters!... Go me!”
I also realize that the hours that I am reading I could be
out exploring and I also could be studying Spanish, so that I could improve my
3 year old vocabulary to hopefully a 5 year olds soon and start to form more
intelligible sentences.
I am trying to figure out this balance of continuing to
work, taking Spanish classes and trying to get myself out of the house to go
running.
I also want to make friends. My social life is… well we can
say lacking at the present moment. I have met some nice people at school – but
I am not one to hang out at the bars and go drinking, so hanging out with them
is less than appealing.
On Saturday I went to a Young Single Adult fiesta (party) at
the church. We made Mexican Tacos and I helped by cutting onions and cried a
lot (onions really hurt my eyes!) and we played some fun games and then had a
spiritual lesson given by the sister missionaries. It was a really nice
afternoon! I am really glad that I went and hung out with the Young Single
Adults!
Sunday I went to Church. Church is challenging in a way –
cause I only understand a couple of words here and there. So I can catch onto
the gist of what is being said, and I love singing the hymns! There is an
amazing power to music! And I know the hymns well – so they are a good way for
me to be able to be fully engaged in the services!
I do a LOT of listening here in Spain.
Never in my life have I been at such a loss for words. Not
for lack of wanting to talk, or participate, I just don't have the words.
(again… 3 year old vocabulary!) It is SO hard and pretty frustrating when you
want to talk and you CAN’T... I have always been on the other side of this
fence. I have a lot of friends who I
helped and tutored and talked to them, and corrected their English (at their
request) as they were learning. Now I really know how so many people in this position
feel/have felt. I am building empathy! Huge great big skyscrapers that reach up
to the clouds type of building!
Today in Spanish class we were asked what we detest. The
first thought that came to my head was learning Spanish. But that wasn’t really
true. The truth is, “Me detesto sentimiontos estupido.” That was me in broken Spanish saying that I
detest feeling stupid! And in a lot of ways Spanish makes me feel stupid. I
know that it shouldn’t. my sweet friend keeps saying to me, “Kristy, its okay,
you aren’t going to learn Spanish over night.” He reminds me not to be so hard
on myself. I was speaking with him on facebook yesterday and he said something
to me in Spanish and my response was, “I totally understood that an I didn't
even have to use Google translate!!!!!” It was such a small thing. But it made
me happy.
Antonio is also a gem and puts up with me and my homework
and my frustrations and hugs and kisses me when I start crying and tells me
that I can do it! He is also good at the tough love thing. He teaches me
something and makes me say it again… and Again… and AGAIN! And he covers up my notes and asks me
questions and my first impulse is to doubt myself and say I don’t know and I
can’t remember – because the words don’t come easily. But he makes me think,
and sometimes after I concentrate my mind pulls out a word! And every so often…
the word is correct. And when its not he helps me find the right one.
And we LAUGH! Antonio and I LAUGH till I am crying and we can’t
breathe. Our late night study sessions are hilarious as we argue about language
and words and draw pictures of ugly hearts turned to butterflies and how “la luna
y la noche” are not actually in a homosexual relationship. (Yes I understand that Anto and I are the
ONLY 2 people on earth who will actually understand this- but suffice it to say
that is was hilarious! If you want the story let me know… I will share.)
I am grateful for laughter!
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