It's Over

This month went incredibly FAST!!! I cannot believe it is already the 31st! WOW!....Um….

So I have been thinking a lot lately…

Well I think all the time, but let me see if I can track these thoughts about this particular subject that I want to share…

I was talking about how absolutely AMAZING this summer was!
And I would re-live it in a SECOND!

May/June – became best friends with Alex and Brandon
June/July – 5 awesome weeks of efy
July/August – India
…really….REALLY?!?! yes my life is good

Yet now looking back at all of the wonderfulness in my life there comes a bittersweet taste. The past year of living with THE 5 most amazing girls that I have EVER met…
All graduating together…
And then my awesome summer…
It makes me a little bit sad to realize that things will never be the same again.

In a way I am still in “summer traveling mode” and I think my body and mind are starting to wonder when I am going back to Provo to reunite with my dearest friends and start school back up. Then I have to remind myself that it’s over.
…that’s the worst statement I have ever heard my mind say to itself…
It’s over.

Yet it is…
Katie is in Buffalo
Sue and Megs have both married wonderful men
Miriam is in Arizona
Beth is in California
Alex is in Provo
And I…
I am in New York City.

And I am really starting to come to the realization that life has to move on and when that happens people go different ways. Honestly, I have thought of this before, but it is really coming to life that it really will Never be the same again! I guess I just have this secret hope that we can all be together again and have dinner group, and roommate prayer, games nights and full intentions of watching a movie but end up sitting around talking for hours instead just because we all enjoy each other’s company so much. And there is a part of my heart that will always long for that…for us to all be together. Looking back I know that I took that friendship and our time together for granted so often. I am so incredibly blessed to have such good people in my life!
I pray that I will continue to be blessed in such ways!

I was reminded of a song that I like called "Summer is Over" by John Allred
here are the lyrics:

I wish sometimes that I could stare back at the sun
Cause I'm afraid when I'm alone down here
When all these days, just seem to blend back into one
And Growing old is the only thing we fear

And time won't wait for you, so please make up your mind.
If summer is over.

I won't forget the way the colors in your eyes
Remind me that these nights won’t last forever
It took too long just for us to realize
That time was all we had for worse or better

And time won't wait for you. So please make up your mind.
If summer is over
Than I won't wait for you to kiss me one more time.
it's almost over.

When the night's are getting longer, and the feelings getting stronger when I'm looking at a silhouette of you.
And there's so much I could say, all this time I've kept quiet. I've been saving all my words for you.

And time won't wait for you. so please make up your mind.
Cause summer is over.
Than I won't wait for you to kiss me one more time
it's almost over.

And time won't wait for you. so please make up your mind.
this summer over.
Than I won't wait for you to kiss me one more time
it's almost over.

and you should listen to it too! He has it on his play list on his MySpace page
http://www.myspace.com/allred


It's over...

once again, one of the hardest things that I have ever had to tell myself and still am fighting to come to a complete and full realization of the fact. Cause I don't want it to be over. I want to hold onto it for just a little longer. But I can't...cause its over.

Hangin' with the Sisters!

Tonight Kortney was home, she is staying at the apartment while she looks for somewhere to live, so she is a sudo roommate.

She asked me if I wanted to go to Coldstone with her…

#1- I really don’t have the money to spend

#2- I don’t need the calories

#3- I REALLY don’t have the money to spend

…

I went anyway.

we got there right in time cause a massive group of people came in right after us, so we were right at the beginning of the long line. along with the massive group was about 9 nuns in blue and gray habits! SO COOL! A whole group of nuns at cold stone. I was trying to figure out how to indiscreetly get a picture of them but couldn't. So we took our ice cream and walked around a bit, in no particular direction, just walked and talked.

We decided to head back and walked back by coldstone and the nuns we all coming out.
Kourtney said, "lets just go ask them!"
we crossed the street...

now by "lets ask" she really meant YOU ask...

So I walked up to them and started talking to them, which church are they at? (St Pauls) where are they from? (Argentina, Mexico, Italy, etc...wow! they were from all over!) and then I asked, can we get a picture with you? She said "Sure!" with a smile, then announced, "Sisters! Picture!"
Ha! you'd think they have done this before!?

so there I am hangin' with the Sisters! ha! love it! This picture was SO worth going out for ice cream tonight!

Shakespeare in Central Park

Last night I realized that I could very possibly need my social security card when I find a job…hummmm….I have no idea where it is!

So today I went on a walk to the Social Security office. Its something like 16 blocks from my apartment. So not to far. I took this picture on my walk to the social security office...
I liked the look of this old building against the beautiful blue sky!

I waited in line...of course I forgot my book. I dont know why but whenever I lug a book around with me I don't have time to open it, but whenever I leave it at home I find myself wishing I had it with me. Such is life.
I stopped at the store on the way back home and I got to talk to Miriam as I was shopping. YAY!

So…

...Friday night…

…in NYC…

Here’s the thing…I have no friends and no money! HA! Great combination eh?

So I was on my computer ½ heartily looking for something. There is a fringe theatre festival going on now and I would love to go and see some of those shows, but once again I really don’t have the money. So I concluded that I was probably just going to stay home. Then I remembered hearing about Shakespeare in the park…so I looked it up and there was a show starting in 15 minutes. I grabbed my purse and went out the door and walked over to where the show began, I arrived just in time.

I watched Much Ado About Nothing – which is one of my favorite Shakespeare plays.

It was a fun show! I liked how it was presented! The audience sat on the grass and every few scenes we would go to a new location, so the audience would stand and hurry over to the next place, or sometimes they would have us all turn around and the front of the audience would become the back, or they would walk into the middle of the crowd and have us all form a big circle around them. During the party scene they handed out masks to the audience. And as it started to get dark they used big mag flashlights as their spotlights on the actors. I thought that was pretty great! I also loved that when they wanted us to move to a new location the production team who were spotting the actors with the flashlights would run ahead and sit on the ground and point the flashlights to their sides to mark where the front row was to be and the audience would all scurry up to the line and have a new seat and the performance would start again.

I snapped this one picture really quick so you could kind of see what it was like...

I am glad that I found this performance to go to! It was a perfect night to be in central Park and enjoy some Shakespeare!

Hi NYC, my name is Kristy…

BLAH!!!!
I had some things typed up from today and yesterday….but I did not save them and my computer shut itself down and now I lost those blogs! …Darn!
….so I may be missing some things but I will tell you about my last day at home and the move to the big apple…

I got to see Suey – I went over to her place and we made peppernuts. They are little mini cookies. They don’t have peper in them…or nuts…I know…don’t be confused. (hummmm....I shoudl have taken a photo....shoot!)Haha We have a fun little story to go along with them though…

We made them 2 summers ago in Ohio for our road trip back to Utah for school. We were eating them and so Johnny-boy hid them so we could save them for the trip. Well ½ way between Ohio and Utah we realized that we had totally left them hid away above the cabnit where Johnny-boy put them. Haha! Oh well we enjoyed the penut butter brownies that mom made for us! (YUM! Penutbutter-brownies…now I really want some!)

Anway it was good to spend some time with my twinner! LOVE her!

Then I went to see Johnny-boy for a bit. I ran an errand with him, he ran an errand with me,
and just talked for a bit and said goodbye.

I came home and had a nice little barbecue with my family. A friend from my mission stopped by too! It was good to see him again!

The day before I came to NYC I had a lot of mixed feelings… I was trying to explain it…I couldn’t … it was kind of an anxious, nervous, knotted stomache feel…

Alex called it “your moving to NY” oh…yeah…is that what that feeling is?...yep
Alex and Brandon came by to say goodbye. Good to see them as always…I love those boys so much! When we were saying goodbye I had tears come to my eyes as Alex pulled away…he pulled back around instead of just driving off…so I didn’t think he would see me but he did, he looked at me and said, “are you crying!?”

Brandon then says, “oh man…emotions are going to start and then things’ll get awkwrd… I gotta go!”

Haha…well that’s what I get for choosing them as my best friends.
Boys that can’t handle emotions.

My loving, kind, AMAZING roommate Beth came to visit me too! She even brought frosties for us. We sat out on the poarch and she and I got to just sit and talk. It was SO NICE !! I love Beth! She is so encouraging and uplifting and pretty darn inspiring to me! She always knows just what to say! I look up to her a lot!

Well…I stayed up way too late! And got an hour or so of sleep. Woke up, mom and Emily brought me to the airport. My layover was in San Francisco (yes I know its in the opposite direction).

Then I came to the JFK airport and found my way to my new apartment.

Julie my roomie and 2 of her friends took me out to dinner at Crepes Columbus.

Yummy Crepes!
this was the BEST one:

Dark chocolate, coconut and caramel crepe. It was Amazing! Pretty sure this food is not good for any kind of healthy diet, but who cares right?

Now back at the apartment…

I think it is mostly because I am really tired right now…but I am starting to have returning feelings of…I am moving to NYC…I think it is also called: uneasy. Yep that’s what it feels like is uneasiness!

Sometimes I have these doubts that come into my mind and I think…BAGHDAD! what AM I doing here?...okay I have been here for 4 hours I really shouldn’t freak out, I just need to get some sleep.

Why is it that a text msg from ‘my one and only’ puts a smile on my face but makes my stomach/heart knot up? Well this is the first time that I have heard from my best friend sense I have been here… I was really happy to hear from him! It just came right as I was getting the “moving to NYC feeling”
Bah!
Its fine!
I’ll be fine…
I just need to go to bed

TXt mSg = :) & < 3

I got a new phone today!...
for FREE! (thats the best part!)

anyway before I sent my old phone back I had a bunch of old text messages on there that I wanted to keep for one reaon or another, most are texts that I have received from my friends. some are sweet, others make me laugh, you may or may not understand them they may be connected to inside jokes, or be a kind word that made me smile.

I wanted to post them here cause they bring me such joy!...you may or may not recognize them as your words to me at some point, but I am going to write them all anonymously...but I know who said them! hehehehe


"I have long admired your ease and fluency in writing, its a talent and I am glad you have it"

"Well you have had 4 lifetimes! you sound so together on the phone...but thats not magic thats experience!"

"you have a great big heart so follow that but dont neglect yourself. what makes you most happy?

"friend = second self ... look for someone who needs a friend"

"love is seen and felt as joy"

"virtual love it iffy...and my love for you is definitely not iffy"

"haha oh thats kinda sad cause I'm not actually in her pocket, but you probably figured that out"

"Worst day of my life! Cursed Satan!"

"Ima CUTT YOU!"

"they all said aww...we love Kristy. Then they fought over who got to keep it"

"There are like a million little efers flooding the wilk right now..."

"you are welcome delicate!"

"oh boy. They have brought their game out here! Sa-curity! They have multiplied in numbers, they are now four!"

"hey love are you at the house? like how I called you love?"

"Thanks for having such a big heart and for being so full of love. you are a true friend."

"I finally figured it out!! all my judges were lesbian! thats why they hated my pantomime!! Those whores!"

"haha thanks you're like my shoulder angel..."

"youre so wise my shoulder angel!"

"I just woke up and saw ur text! what a great way to start the day and then fall back asleep"

"Kristy dear! What are you doing tonight?"

"Baghdad its your birthday!!"

"Haha...Thanks...Lets all throw rocks at the NERD!!"

"Kristy you seriously made my day! Love you tonz!"

"Kristy I am so grateful to have a friend like you! you are a true friend! Thank you for being my ray of sunshine, hope and joy on days that are couldy!"

"I need a hug"

"Yay! now, you go wash up so I can tell you a story before you go to bed little princess...well the prince came and...they all lived happily ever after!! everyone died in hamlet just in case you were wondering. Sweet dreams."

"Hey I just wanted to thank you for being so kind today and being not only a great director but also a great friend!! It has been such an honor working with you and you have taught me so much and it has been a wonderful experience working with and getting to know you! I hope that as pan ends and we go our seperate ways that we can continue to stay in touch and continue to work together! Thank you so much kadish!!"

"Thanks love"

"Baghdad Kristy not my fault!!"

"boo...well when we get married we can travel the world together"


title of this post:
text messages = happiness and love!

Kristy Needs....

so I got this idea from somewhere on facebook.

What you do is type your first name and needs in google...and you see what comes up...

I was actually really surprised to see how many of them actually fit my life right now and how accurate some of the "needs" were to my own!

I think that you are supposed to write down and share the first 10...but they were so good so I did 20!

here they are:

All the things that Kristy needs...according to google...

1- Kristy needs Help
2- Kristy needs a couple tribute videos
3- Kristy needs the money
4- Kristy needs FACEBOOK NOW!!!!!!
5- Kristy needs a roommate for the fall!!!!
6- Kristy needs a new BFF
7- ...and BF!!!
8- Kristy needs to get blogging
9- Kristy needs prayer
10-"there are many things that Kristy needs in order to make this happen"
11- Kristy needs to loose 20 pounds
12- Kristy needs some ideas
13- Kristy needs to boost confidence
14- Kristy needs to go although she is improving
15- Kristy needs to leave!!
16- Kristy needs a THROWDOWN
17- Kristy needs to refocus
18- Kristy needs to win this one
19- Kristy needs to do some research
20- Kristy needs to take a deep breath, exhale, and repeat as necessary.

...so true!...So True!

for my girls

I heard this song the other day and it reminded me so much of my roommates so I made this little video for them...



LOVE YOU GIRLS!!! MISS YOU!!!

I know this girl…

She is beautiful
She is strong
She is FUN
She is spontaneous
She is smart
She is always there for me
She is Amazing
She is a great example
She is Spiritual
She is an awesome teacher
She is helpful
She is a good friend
She is encouraging
She is happy
She is knowledgeable
She is dependable
She is honest
She is stylish
She is loved
She is funny
She is a really good cook
She is my best friend…
Her name is Miriam!
And I LOVE her! and I am so grateful for her!

Friends and Fire

I was cleaning out boxes today…

And I found an old English portfolio that I did for my creative writing class in 12 grade in high school. I read one of the poems that I wrote
I will now share:

The person who has their eye so focused on the bad,
Never sees all of the good that there is to be had.
The person who has their eye set where they are,
Never can see the goal, and that it’s not far.
The person who has their eyes turned the pessimistic way,
Never can see the light of the optimistic day.
The person who has their eyes concentrated to the ground,
Never will see the good of life all around.

Yay younger me- inspiring older me!

This may be a bias opinion…but I like it! I actually considered making some changes to it before I posted it here…but I thought that I would give my teenage self the credit and respect it deserves by just leaving the poem as is and not changing it, I REALLY like the message of it!
Also as I was cleaning out boxes I was texting an old friend and telling her about my life plans. I love what she said:

Friend 1: “WOW! Your life is like a movie!”

My response: “I hope it’s an American chick flick then!
Cause in those the girl gets an awesome job AND a man!”

Friend 1: yeah and he is really hot too!
haha…cause I will tell you this much – I love foreign films, but for the most part they do NOT end happily!...so I really don’t want my life to be like a foreign film.

Then I was telling another friend about this and she said, “Actually it’s a combination of a chick flick and a bollywood movie!”

…my response to that….

YES PLEASE!!! Ah-hahaha!

Well today we had a little get together up the canyon. I decided that I wanted to have a fire and roast some hot dogs, marshmallows and starbursts cause I may not be able to do that for a while now that I am moving to the city.

Here are some pictures from our Rendevou….

They boys watched Sue try to get the fire going...
then Alex came, smiled at the situation...
and decided that he would take over
(It takes a lot of people to supervise Alex with fire!)

He got it going...

I am glad that I was able to get some friends together!


gotta love this little love circle that was formed...

LOVE LOVE!!!!

I also had some friends drop in that I sadly didn't get pictures of- how did THAT happen?
so thankyou Jeremy, Mari, Emily, Meghan, Pratt, Suey, Adam, Johnny-boy, Ryan, Jason, Ashley, Brandon, Alex, Trevor, and Beth for coming and playing with me tonight!

Love you all!

Ps- I also recognize that there were some people who despite wanting to come tonight but couldn't make it cause India didn't want them there.

ie: Critter and Miriam

for those of you in this category -> I love you TOO!!!

So we had a party.... and it went like this.....

okay actually Alex was the official DJ for the Education Week youth dance
see here he is...
with his whole set up...

and his awesome helpers...
having some fun...
Jason and Ash were bustin out the dance moves!

So if you want to have a sweet dance party- give us a call and we will DJ- I promise it'll be a rockin time!

Where I Stand

I have had many different responses to the news that I am moving across the country to go and conquer NYC. (and when I say conquer…well we will get to that in a moment…read on)

Most of these differing responses can be categorized into 2 parts-

#1- The happy/excited for you response:
“Oh MY GOSH!... You are awesome!...thats so cool… That is my dream!....I am excited for you!...YAY!”

AND…

#2- The what the H are you thinking response:
“So…um….you are moving across the country with no job, no apartment and no money….huh…interesting”

Where I stand…

Are you ready for this…I agree with BOTH!
Humor me for one moment please…

#1- YES I am FREAKING EXCITED!
New York is an Adventure! (do you remember my definition of adventure?...the word that positive people use to describe hellish expierences…we will come to this, hold on.)

An adventure that I am excited to have for a number of reasons:

-I cannot progress in the way that I want to if I stay in Utah.
Ways I want to progress:

-In the Theatre:
NY has MUCH more to offer! Experiences and connections that I need and want to be able to establish myself in my career

-In my dating life:
As I have written in a previous blog dating doesn’t happen for me in Utah. Will it happen for me in NY? I don’t know…but I sure as heck am not getting anywhere here…so its time to try something else

-In my life experiences:
There are people I need to meet and things I need to do in NYC- cant explain it, just know that I cant get the expierence I need here in Utah

-In my spiritual life:
Yes I can grow this anywhere… and my spirituality is fine in Utah…but I need new scenery. I want to be in a ward that needs my talents and service!

At this point Utah has nothing to offer me. So I go…

I am so excited at the prospect of meeting new people and doing new things and having different surroundings. How cool that I have been offered an internship with the company that I was most impressed with and wanted to work with. How exciting that I will be in New York City.
So I am a positive person (at least I really try hard to be) I like to look at the bright side I think it is much more pleasant to be around happy people. And because I am such a people person I want people to enjoy being around me! But I do NOT by any means believe that the world is full of butterflies and flowers…so that leads me to my agreeance with group #2…

#2- BAH! WHAT THE H AM I DOING?!

Let me share with you for a moment my fears and doubts – the negative side for just a moment.
I am moving across the country, my internship is unpaid, I don’t have very much money, and I have no job.

…hummmmm….lets think about this…I know it sounds stupid and a bit crazy and REALLY HONESTLY KRITY! What are you thinking?

Dear friend…I realize these things…I realize that I very well may be screwing myself over…I realize that this is not going to be easy and when I say that I am going out to conquer NYC know that I actually expect to struggle.

Now my question…why would I focus on that? I don’t need to. My focus is staying on other things, #2 and the discouragement that comes along with it is constantly in my mind
but there is something that I would like you to know…

This is not a rash decision. I promise…yes this may be a sudden thing for you that “huh…say what?!....Kristy is doing what?...moving where?...so soon?...where did This come from!?...etc etc.”

But I promise I have thought long and hard about it, I have prayed much and the Lord and I have spent time together in the temple discussing what he and I want to do with my life.
So you may be part of group 1 or 2…or you may even fit in the category of group 3 (which is a combination of 1 and 2) much like me. Whatever the case may be your thoughts, and prayers are much welcomed and appreciated. So that is where I stand. Right in the Middle, but I know that doubts and fears are not of God and that Satan doesn’t want me to progress. So I am not going to take the easy way on this one. I am going to do what Heavenly Father wants me to do, and I know that I have his support and encouragement in this choice.

The words of Joshua 1:9 come as a reminder to me of this encouragement and the added promise that I am not alone in this, not in this choice that I have made- or in the process of carrying it out.

“Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage. Be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed. For the Lord thy God is with the whithersoever thou goest.”

Be Okay

This morning my aunt and I were in the bathroom together getting ready, and she bumped into me and said, “oh sorry”
I told her, “you’re okay”
and she said, “I hope so…sometimes its hard to just be okay.”

This reminded me of the Ingrid Michaelson song that I love:
Here are the lyrics:

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today

CHORUS
Open me up and you will see
I’m a gallery of broken hearts
I’m beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts
I just want to know today, know today, know today
I just want to know something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok

CHORUS
Open me up and you will see
I’m a gallery of broken hearts
I’m beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts
Just give me back my pieces
Just give them back to me please
Just give me back my pieces

And let me hold my broken parts
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today

I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok

I think that maybe that was a statement and a song foreshadowing today. Cause it was ROUGH…and now….I just want to be okay…cause really….its true…sometimes its hard to just be okay.

Congratulations Brian and Suzie!

My cousin Brian married a really cute British girl today...
I got to go to their temple sealing...it was AWESOME!!!
We like Suzie! she is really cute!!!
Their wedding reception was at this cute little park that I had never been to in Provo and this is how they decorated....
Suzies sister made all of the cute bunting (thats the streamers/flag hangings) and they went to DI and got a bunch of cheep plates and vases and thats what they put the desserts on the table with - cute idea!

AND Suzie's mom Linda made a bunch of AWESOME British deserts!
Victoria Sponge Cake...my Fave!
YUM! SO GOOD!!!

It was a special day! I am glad that I got to be a part of it!

saying goodbye Up North

I went up to Wellsville/Logan so I could say goodbye to a few of my favorites up North...
(if you live up North and I didn't get to say goodbye to you...sorry....love you still)

Cassie and I went out for something YUMMY!
I stayed with Branny and we got some good mexican food

and on the way home I stopped at
with...
TREVOR!

YUMMY! I love Zeppes! and I will Miss you guys! LOVE YOU!!!!

I am Moving to NYC!

why you may ask...

well there are many reasons...but I will give you the one reason that made the final decision a yea...

I got a call from NYTW (New York Theatre Workshop) on Tuesday the 10th....or maybe it was Wed the 11th....well whatever day it was...

NYTW is a theatre company in NYC that I interviewed with before I went to India and they offered me their

Artistic Internship!

so yeah...I called them today to let them know that I will be taking the internship!

oh boys...

Tonight I went to a movie with the boys…ATeam…
it was very much a "boys movie" ...but it did have funny parts!
I gave Brandon and Alex their gifts that I got for them in India. Do you know how hard it is to find boys gifts...well it was. I got them both (and Trevor) Kafeea’s – it’s a mens scarf.

Alex was really excited to put his on...
and he wanted to do it all by himself...
this is the process...
struggle...
Struggle...
STRUGGLE...


Alex was REALLY happy when he finally figured it out....um...Sort of figured it out...
now this boy here...he will show you how to wear a Kafeea!

Alex decided that he should wear the one I got for him AND the one I got for Trevor! Yes, they know they're sexy...

Sadly enough I didn't get a picture of Trevor with his... =( but I did get his cute little nephew Landon with it on! haha!
love love